December 16, 2006, Saturday:
Airborne Shuffle:

Today with the weather being nice for a run we got up and did the Airborne Shuffle. With the Airborne Shuffle you don't really run for time, but more distance. It sounds easy because you are "shuffling" your feet across the pavement, but it was a little harder than I thought. First of all, I am not good at shuffling my feet. All of my life I have picked up my feet to walk so I don't wear out my shoes, plus it is annoying to hear the shuffling. I tried it, but felt like I would trip and fall flat on my face. The run wasn't difficult because of any physical part like breathing, muscle, etc. It was difficult because it is hard to take baby steps and once your use to running a certain speed you have to force yourself to run slower.

A couple of times we picked up the pace more than the airborne shuffle pace. I felt good while running and didn't feel the need to stop. Both, Mike and I were breathing good and feeling good overall. Today we ran 3 MILES!!!! That is my longest distance yet. It was great when we rounded the corner after the 2nd mile I told Mike as of right now I have ran farther than I ever have. It was a great feeling. We didn't exactly time ourselves, but I glanced at the clock when we walked out and came back in and we ran the 3 miles in around 38:00. It seems like a long time, but that is what the A.S. is for, distance not speed.

I was happy to know I could run 3 miles before shipping. With my mile run time dropping by almost 30 seconds (sounds like nothing, but in the world of running 30 sec. can make a difference) and knowing I can run 3 miles I feel pretty good. The census is that they run you anywhere from 1.5-6 miles in a day at training. I know I could go on while running A.S. I feel pretty good, now it is just a matter of putting it all together, all the training, marching, classes and FTX (field training exercises).

I can't wait. I am so excited. I know I can do this. Am I scared/nervous? Yes, I will not lie, but without fear there is no courage, right?

December 13, 2006, Wednesday:
Ship Test Do Over:

Today I had to re-do my ship test because the last one wasn't within 30 days of shipping. Since I now have less than 26 days before I ship this one is valid. My recruiter came to our house at around 14:00 (2:00 civi time) and I ran in our addition since our normal running area is exactly .5 mile in distance. I hate being tested, I get weak in my body and butterflies in my stomach. I am so afraid of failure that I get so nervous. I imagine my pulse was somewhere in in the 130s today. I have to get over that, but I guess it is normal.

Anyway, we stretched for about a 1/2 hour before he came. My recruiter gave me the option to not do the ship test because I have done this before and he knows that we have been training a lot since the end of August and that I can do it, but I and Mike said lets do it. We have to run today anyway and it is good motivation to run hard and fast. I did my push-ups (5), sit-ups (20) and ran 1 mile (9:33). Remember I had to do push-ups (3), sit-ups (17) and run 1 mile (10:30). We ran hard and fast today, but if I would carry that time for another two more laps (1 more mile) then I would come in under my APFT. Yeah!!! I improved from my original run time of 10:00 flat. This was my best mile run time (recorded). Monday we ran, but didn't exactly time it, but Mike thinks it might have been pretty close to 9:00. I think it was closer to todays time though, but who knows:)

Anyway, we talked with my recruiter for a bit. This is the last time I will see him because he is being transferred so I am getting a new recruiter. My recruiter is being put in charge of Ft. Ben. motorpool as of next week. He is happy to no longer be recruiting. I asked him how I could avoid being made to be a recruiter and he said by being a single parent. Hmmm, might re-consider having kids:) (just kidding, that is no reason to have the little ones:)). Anyway, he informed me that they will even pull E-4's to recruit (which I will be very soon in my first enlistment). He said you can also avoid it by going to OCS (officer candidate school), but you could be put in charge of a recruiting battalion though. I'd rather be a DS (Drill Sgt.) than a recruiter although everyone says I would make an awesome recruiter I don't want to be it. They are pulling people to be recruiters and DS's because people aren't really volunteering right now. People would rather go to Iraq than recruit, scary huh?

Anyway, after that Mike and I walked the dogs a mile, stretched and then ran errands. Nothing to exciting except that I am good to go for shipping. I had a weigh in the 6th at Ft. Benjamin Harrison at the recruiting command station. According to them I lost a lot of weight (157) and came in at 31% Body Fat. (I don't buy the weight loss). For some reason they didn't want to go for accuracy. First of all, they had to adjust the scales and was using a 10lb. weight, but were calculating it at 5lbs. I pointed out that it was 10lbs. not 5lbs. in my oh so subtle way. I hate correcting captains. I keep having to correct mine because he thinks I am single, going reserve and a graduate of college. Sometimes I just let him think that, but then Mike feels the need to correct him (he,he). I have a feeling in the Army I can be an E-3 one day and an E-4, O-2, or an E-1 without being busted or promoted because no one takes the time to read any of your paperwork:) It's all good though, I am loving the challenge. Anyway, I got off subject there, but after adjusting the scale (high tech let me tell you) they had me step on, not only did I gain a half inch in height (who says you can't grow after puberty?). The Captain and Sgt. are like 4'9" and couldn't really read it well I think and they can't have my recruiter or Mike tell them (they have to be able to say what it is) so to them it looked more than I really am. They had me at 5'6.5 (don't ask). Anyway, the Army has changed the female measuring standards. Get this, they now measure neck, waist and hips. You would think it would help right? Nope, I talked to the Captain and Sgt. and they said everyone's Body Fat has increased by several percents. The new measuring method does not take height and weight into consideration (again don't ask). I have no idea what military person decided on this cooky method, but it is what I have to deal with. Anyway, on top of all of this, they changed the maximum allowable Body Fat and weight because the new standards knocked so many females out. Well, if you are going to change weight/Body Fat to allow for the females to get in, then why did you change the method of calculations? Again, don't ask. I have beat my head on that one.

Anyway, I also registered and have taken my DEP (Delayed Entry Program) Courses. I have so far taken Communications (scored a 95%) and Written Communications (scored an 83%). The Written Communciations is screwed up. Military style of doing things is so different from any Writing, English, etc. course in the civilian world. That will take some getting use to. I have studied my Self-Aid/Buddy-Aid and have to take the test on that, but I have actually been procrastinating on that. I am not to good at Medical stuff and dread long tests. Although, I have done well on the practice quizes, still I worry about it. It is cool though the things I learn. How to evaluate a persons injuries, whether to surpress fire or attend to the injured, how to move them while under fire, how to do CPR and insert tubes for airway breathing. Also, when to help a person and when to leave them (if the mission does not allow you to help then the mission comes first). To me the coolest is if you can't help the injuried and they can't surpress fire to protect you so you can help them then they must play dead. Who would have thought, right? Also, the military isn't about saving body parts, if you have a pulse and can breathe on your own then count your blessings not your fingers, toes or legs. It is pretty cool. There is so much stuff though, you should see my SMCT (Soldiers Manual of Common Tasks) book.

Anyway, these courses go towards promotion points and so far I have done great. I also have been reading about what else goes towards promotion points. Everything does basically. For instance my APFT (my physical test) counts. I know I can max my sit-ups (80) that is what I do now instead of 50. I need to work on my Push-ups and run time to max. for promo. points. Marksmenship counts, any awards earned counts and my college credits count. I get 1 or 1.5 (I can't remember) point for each college credit earned so right now I have around 157 promo. points for my college credits alone. I figured if I do the the medium amount at BCT (which I don't plan on doing) I should have around 400 promo. points towards the end. The max. promo. points is like 800.

Anyway, I am excited to be going, but the butterflies have landed in my stomach this week. I have been talking with about 7 other female future soldiers shipping the same time as me. A lot of them are scared and I have been working on reassuring them and that takes my mind off of myself and my nerves. My recruiter keeps telling me I will be made Platoon Sgt. and I need to prepare for that, such as practice giving commands and know it all before I go because day one they'll expect me to know it. I have met a female from Puerto Rico who enlisted that is really cool. Some of these females aren't training the exact schedule with me, but most are. Most of them are 21 and under, but the lady from P.R. is 28, so it would be cool to have someone close to my age. These females are all cool though. I can't wait to meet them. Their MOS's range from HR, light wheeled mechanic, Blackhawk mechanic, PSYOPS, Mental Health Spc., Medic/Nurse, Unit Supply and more. It is pretty cool to talk to everyone about the different MOS's, where they train, how long and where they plan on being stationed.

I am ready to go. I feel like I have learned all I can on my own and now it is time to learn from the Master Jedi, my Yoda's ("beat your face you must"), my Drill Sgt.s I probably shouldn't call them Yoda at BCT, huh? I don't know, I might get a cool DS. I have chatted with a few online and some are cool, but then again you also can get some that think they have to punish you for their lack of effort in their own life. I just hope I don't get an infantry DS. By that I mean someone who initially was an infantry/combat arms person and went to DS school and thinks everyone has to be as sharp as an infantry man. I understand everyone is a rifle man, but I want to learn more of the MOUT and NBC attack training than running all day.

Anyway, Friday or Saturday if the weather is good then Mike and I are going to run Airborne Shuffle for as long as we can. I am hoping for 3 miles at least. Pray for good weather for us. We have been fortunate to have good weather this week to be able to run and walk outside.

I am absolutely going to enjoy this holiday season, being around family and all. Last Thursday I went shopping with my Gma and enjoyed it so much. I am enjoying being with loved ones and doing this makes this holiday so much more important to me. Now I am glad I didn't get the quick ship as I would only have 2 weeks to be around family for the holiday during Exodus. I am going to miss so many people, but I hope everyone understands that I have to do this for myself, my family and my country.

November 27, 2006, Monday:
Flutter-Kicks . . . Argh!:

So yesterday I decided that I need to kick the exercise into overdrive. I have been studying really hard the General Orders, Army Values, etc., but now I am worried about the PT (Physical Training). From now on we will be working out 30-45 minutes everyday. I have about 6 weeks to ship, so I need to utilize my time.

Today we did conditioning drills and ran (it was hard since we haven't ran since Monday last week), but I still worked within my time. After the run we came back inside and did flutter kicks. This is where you lay on your back and raise your legs about 6 inches off the ground you kick your legs up and down (alternating) as if you were swimming in water. At the highest point your leg should be around 12-14 inches off the ground. These suck!!! They are painful on your abs and thighs. I was screaming in agony. We did about 6-7 sets of these. Then after that we did hip raisers. This is where you spread your legs shoulder width apart and place your hands on the floor between your legs. You bend at the hips down and raise back up while keeping your hands always on the floor. Sounds easy, do 20 of them, at 10 you'll want to stop. It starts killing the insides of your thighs. We did several sets of these. Then we walked at a brisk pace. All of this took about 40 minutes, maybe a little longer.

I need to make sure I continue this because just that little bit today made me suffer. It is time to kick it into full gear and push through the next 6 weeks and train hard.

November 13, 2006, Monday:
2 Mile Run:

Okay, today we were going to do 60/30's where you sprint 60 seconds and walk 30 seconds. Sounds easy, but I'd rather run 2 miles than do these. When you walk it is hard to get back into the run let alone a full blown sprint.

Anyway, we decided to do the 2 mile run instead. We started off at a pitiful pace and completed the first 1/2 mile in 5:25 (a very bad time for a 1/2 mile). After that lap, I said to myself "I want my time today", "I want my time today". I felt great when running and did my second 1/2 mile in 5:00 (still not good enough, it needs to be less). This brought our first mile to a time of 10:25 (Argh!!). So the third lap I picked it up and pushed through and completed the third 1/2 mile in 4:40 (my best lap ever actually). Then the dreadful 4th lap came through and this is where I dropped the ball, okay, so it wasn't a ball, I dropped my hat and stupid me, I went back for it so I had to run hard and fast to make up for the lost time and to catch up with Mike. Then about 100 yards away from the finish the sidewalk was swaying and I was seeing spots in front of my right eye. I stopped, I stopped, who the hell stops 100 yards away from completing? Me, that's who . . .I was stupid, I was flabergasted with myself, I was disappointed. I picked it up and ran hard and fast, but I completed my 2 mile run in 20:36. Exactly one minute over my time. Granted I've ran the 2 miles 3 times and each time I have shaved minutes off and I am only 1 minute over, but I could have had this today. Today was my day to prove I could pass my APFT run and I failed. Not only did I fail, but I failed miserably because there was no excuse for being so close and doing what I did. I went to slow on the first lap, I should have left my hat where it fell and I should have continued running no matter what my body was doing.

Mike later told me that is normal what I felt and it is when the brain is lacking oxygen because it is pulling all the oxygen to the muscles. If I would have pushed through everything would have returned to normal within seconds. Which, when I started running again it did return to normal. The spots were still there, but the sidewalk/road were no longer swaying like a Jerry Garcia music video:)

So now I have my own personal defeat to overcome and overcome it I will. I will not let this run overcome me. I can do it, I know I can. The thing that sucks is today I felt no pain, the weather was great, no wind and yet I failed. Today was a great day for a run and I abused it. I will get that 19:36, because when I take the APFT in basic I want to come in under my time, I want to do more push ups than required and I will get more sit ups than required. I probably won't max my APFT, but I will come in above the required 180 to pass. If I could at least get 200 points on my APFT I would be happy.

November 12, 2006, Sunday:

Today we did push ups, sit ups and jumping jacks. To try and compensate for a pitiful run on Friday. We screwed up on Friday and stretched, but then stood around and talked for a bit. So when we started running our muscles were tight as if we didn't stretch at all. So we only ran a half mile and walked a half mile. We were going to walk more, but a neighbor stopped us and she seemed like she needed someone to talk to so we talked to her for about 20-25 minutes. She was really nice though, sweet lady.

Anyway, back onto today though. We did sit ups first (I did 50, which is what I have to do for my APFT), then push ups (I did 17, which is what I have to do for my APFT and then I did 10 more) and we did 100 jumping jacks. I love jumping jacks. I prefer them over jumping rope. Especially if you don't have a good jump rope. Anyway, so I finally got my push ups in, I know I can do the sit ups and now it is time to get my run done within 19:36. That is my goal before I leave for basic. I don't want to just do it once, I want to know I can do it any day of the week, sick or well, rain or shine, cold or warm weather. I have to do this.

November 8, 2006, Wednesday:
Training:

Today we got up and ran. I was planning on running 2 miles (so was Mike). Everything about the run was great today. The weather was perfect, my body felt great and I was mentally doing well on the run. We ran the first 1/2 mile in 5:08 and then on the second 1/2 mile I got a great second wind and sprinted (for me) about 1/4 mile and finished the second 1/2 mile in 4:45. This brought the total 1 mile run to 9:53 (my best run time for a 1 mile run). I thought I had exerted all of my energy on this run. Mike and I walked for another 1/2 mile and I later realized what felt like fatigue wasn't really it. I was disappointed in myself when I later realized I could have ran more and should have pushed on. I am still learning to listen to my own body and understand the pains, the second/third winds and know my own pace. I thought I did good today, running without any pain, negative thoughts and completing the mile in my fastest time, but I could have done more and I should have. I will not make this mistake twice. From now on, no more mile runs. We will be doing 2 mile runs working up to 3 mile runs.

Oh, on a side note, I found out today that I have to do my ship test again. I guess mine didn't count because it has to be done within 30 days of shipping.:( So now, I'll probably be doing my ship test in the freezing cold December weather. Plus I have to go in for a weight/height test next week. I know I haven't gone crazy and gained massive weight, but I always hate going through this portion because I struggled so hard for 2 years to loose the weight to get into the Army. Oh well, I'll do what I have to, because I want to be in the ARMY!!!!

ARMY STRONG!!

November 6, 2006, Monday:
More training:

Today we did a mile run in 9:58. I kept a steady pace throughout the run and "opened it up" (sprinted) at the end. We sprinted the last 100 yards to the finish. It sucked, but I did it. The only thing I could do to get through the sprint was keeping saying "Pain for Pride" over and over in my head. This comes from a quote "Pain lasts for a moment, Pride lasts for a lifetime" or something like that. I don't know who said it. Anyway, I got through it.

Over the past couple of days I have been studying the Soldier Codes, General Orders, 7 Core Values, Army Structure Organization and the Army Song. The Army Song really gets me motivated. I was reciting some of the words while running today to motivate me. My favorite part is the 2nd Chorous: first lines: Valley Forge, Custer's ranks, San Juan Hill and Patton's tanks and the Army went rolling along. Anyway, I sing little bits of it every now and then and God love Mike that he tolerates me singing over a meal or while driving in the car or while he is playing his computer game. I hope we get to sing the song a lot in training. Mike said he doesn't remember them ever playing it.

I am so psyched and ready to go. I wish I was shipping now, but on the other hand I love knowing I have the time to get into better shape and studying my Army book on first aid, M16, News Interviews, etc. The book is cool, intimidating because it is so thick, but cool. Right now I am learning how to treat heat exhaustion, burn victims, etc. I've also been studying on my own the proper way to do "retreat" when you take the flag down at the end of the day and the way it is to be folded, who can salute from vehicles and how to salute when in civis (civilian clothes).

November 3, 2006, Friday:
2 Mile Run Day:

Today we got up and did our run. We were just planning on doing 1-1.5 miles today. However, Mike said after 1.5 miles to keep going so we did. We ran 2 miles in 21:46 (exactly 2:10 over what I need to be for my APFT). Mike was happy and told me that most likely by the 2nd week of BCT I'll be able to do my run time for my APFT. HOOAH!!!! I kept the same pace on the run today except a little bit on the end I sped up, but for doing a pretty even pace I did great. I can shave 2:10, look how far I've come in just basically 12 weeks. I still have about 7 weeks of more training before BCT and the first week of BCT is basically going to run me ragged so I'll be improving.

Today on the run though Mike kept yelling at me to pick up the pace and I kept telling him I was going for distance, not time. I finally just gave up telling him that and ignored him. Not to be mean, but I was really working on trying to change my mindset while running. Today's run I did awesome at it, considering that I never walked and I never almost gave up (slowed down). Running is seriously mental. Mike has told me I need to try and think of something else, but I have not been successful at that. Today I was. I kept saying out loud that this is great, I can do this, today is a good day, etc.

Mike springs when he runs (that boy is like Forest Gump:) ). He has calves that are huge and seriously strong and developed. I have to quit using him as a bar for me though because I will never be like his body type as I am female. I like running behind him and watching his huge calves flex, they are incredible. I feel sorry for anyone who gets kicked by him if he was angry, he'd probably kick them into the future they are so big and strong. Sorry to ramble they just truly amaze me. Anyway, today I started getting down on myself while running because he was just springing along running, but then I reminded myself that if he had to do the APFT he would have to complete it in less time than me so he should be running faster and harder (well maybe not harder, but faster at least). That fixed that negative thought. Then at another point I started getting down on myself and I said outloud, "this is great" and that changed that thought. I also started thinking of other things. I was thinking about some cadences I have read recently and that helped.

I am so grateful for Mike, I know I can be a pain, but thankfully he tolerates me. Maybe he is just thinking 2 more months and she is someone elses problem:) (j/k). No he is really great and I know he wants the best for me!!!

Anyway, my stomach started hurting, I think I need to be drinking more water. Supposedly at BCT they do formation hydration, where in formation everyone fills up their canteens and you drink it until it is gone and hold it upside down over your head showing you are done. We will be doing this like 5 times or more a day, not including our own drinks. Anyway, my stomach was hurting on the left and right side under my rib cage, but I kept saying I don't feel it. The left side did go away, but the right side started spreading down to my hip. I kept pushing through and saying the pain doesn't exist. This worked as well!

Now for those push-ups. Some days I am good at them and other days I struggle big time.

November 1, 2006, Wednesday:
Ship Test:

Today I had to do my ship test. The ship test is to make sure recruits are in somewhat good condition. I guess if you can't pass the ship test then they send you to a place called FTC (Fitness Training Camp - otherwise referred to as fat camp, which makes no sense because thin people aren't always physically fit). Anyway, for me being a female, age 26 (the top of my bracket if I was 27 I would get an extra minute on my run time:( ), I have to do 1 mile in 10:30 or less, 3 push-ups and 17 sit-ups. We met my recruiter at McDonalds and then went to the Lebanon High School to use their track (Thank you LHS). Anyway, I did my push-ups first (I did 5, but definetly had 3 good ones out of 5), then sit-ups (I did 21) and then the run. Mike was nice enough to run with me, because it helps when running to have a partner and I'll never run alone in the military. So we did the mile and we completed in 10:00 exactly!!!! Yeah, me. It was very windy and soooo cold. I couldn't talk after the run because my esophagus was so cold it felt like I had freezer burn. However, I did it, I did it, I did it!!!!! I am good to go to ship and no FTC for me:) My recruiter told me he was impressed with my run time and that I did awesome and kept a good even pace, but that I need to try to open it up (sprint) on the last 1/4 mile when finishing. He said it always looks better to sprint across the finish line. I am going to work on that. I gave my recruiter my shot records (to avoid going through all the shots at BCT (reception) I think now I'll only need the anthrax shot and maybe one other one, instead of the full 5-6 shots you get. Thank you again LHS for keeping those records. By the way, did you know they try to keep shot records for 75 years? I was shocked.

Anyway, afterwards we went to Bob Evans to eat lunch and I gulped down coffee to warm my throat. I was coughing like crazy from the run. This isn't typical after my runs, but I pushed hard and it was so cold. I think I prefer our runs in our neighborhood over the track. It psychologically screws me up to run 4 times around a track opposed to the 2 times around our circle (which we have measured and 2 times around is a mile).

October 30, 2006, Monday:
Practice Ship Test:

Today we ran a mile to make sure I am still staying under 10:30 for my ship test. We ran the mile in 9:54!!!! At the end of it I stopped almost dead in my tracks because my stomach was cramping so bad. It was hurting from the top right, under my rib all the way down to my hip. It was a pain that made me want to automatically curl up. Mike came up behind me and was trying to help me along, but I wasn't to accepting of his help and was pushing him away. He wanted me to keep moving (like I should have been), but my body said I was to just stop and curl up, I wanted to listen to my body not Mike:) I finally listened to Mike and kept walking. We walked a mile beyond what we ran. We also have been working on crunches and ooohhh how painful. I can do them, but I feel them.

October 19, 2006, Thursday:
The last bit of News:

Mike's sister came by tonight and we told her our news. She was very happy for us and even said she would be happy if we were in Germany because she would be visiting us a lot:) She said she would come no matter where we are, but that is good to know that if we did get stationed overseas we won't be forgotten:)

We also typed up letters and mailed them to family around the country to inform them of our news. We tried telling all of our immediate family personally, but distant friends and family we did by letter because we can't fly everywhere:)

October 18, 2006, Wednesday:
More News:

Today is run day! I still feel like I am struggling with the run. We did 2 miles in 23:36 (Mind you I have to complete my APFT 2 mile run in 19:36). I was happy with that run time for my first two mile run. I can push hard on the 1 mile run, but having to add an extra mile makes me slow down. I had to pace myself big time. I did walk about 10 steps at a fast pace so that slowed me down. I won't do that again. Mike went crazy on me for walking. Note to self drop dead before walking while exercising with Mike!!! ha,ha . . . (By the way, he doesn't yell to be mean, but to motivate and his yelling isn't like the DS's (Drill Sgts.) his is more motivational. Anyway, for the 2 mile run I thought I would die . . .sucking air big time:) Why can't the Army just base it off a mile run and say for instance I run a mile in 9:00, then they double that and say you would theoretically run 2 miles in 18:00? That would rock. Or maybe instead of running just have me do 200 jumping jacks for cardio (I prefer exercising in one place. Looking down a long road to run just seems never ending.) Oh well, this is what I must do, so I'll do it. I was happy that I did the run, but disappointed that I walked the 10 steps.

We then cleaned up (because I sweat horribly while exercising, of course Mike just glistens:) ) and then ate at Bob Evans and headed off to tell Mike's aunt about my enlistment. She was happy for us and was proud of us as well. We are so happy that everyone has been excited for us and believes in me and my ability to do this. I know some are scared of Iraq, but overall everyone's happiness makes me feel better about mine and Mike's decision.

We were going to tell Mike's sister tonight, but she just got back in town (from being out of state) and was tired so we said we would talk tomorrow night. We left Bob Evans (yes, we eat lunch and dinner there) and went home and watched Jericho (great show).

October 17, 2006, Tuesday:
Family News Continues:

Today we headed out to my Gpa & Gma M's. house to tell them about our news. They were happy for us and proud of us. I think they are sad that we are moving, but I think most of our family is. Although, it gives them an excuse to go on vacation and come see us:) ! We later went to Outback on Michigan Road, Indianapolis and told a server that works there that we have befriended. He was happy for us, but sad to hear we would be leaving. He was relieved to hear we weren't leaving within the month and I told him Mike would be here until almost June. Mom called to see how we were doing in our mission of telling family. I told her we had two more to go before everyone knew. She then told me that she told my sister about it and she was happy, but scared for me. Heck with everyone being scared for me I don't have to worry about myself:) (j/k). My sister asked my mom why no one tried to talk me out of enlisting and asked why Mike didn't try to talk me out of it. Mike supports my decision and no one knew, other than Mike and my family doctor, that I was enlisting so family didn't have a chance to talk me out of it:) She was happy for me though, which is really great! Tonight we watched Hereos!

October 16, 2006, Monday:
Family News Day:

Today we ran and exercised. It killed. I feel like I am going backwards in my training and my running ability. I should be improving, but I don't feel like I am. My stomach was cramping and my breathing was labored. Afterwards we ate at Bob Evans and headed out to my Dad's to tell him and my grandparents. We told them and Gpa and dad were so excited for me. Gpa said I'll look sharp in uniform and I'll do really good. Dad was happy as well, but he is worried about my chances of going to Iraq. But he is really happy for me and says I'll do good at it.

We then headed out to my brother and sister-in-laws house (Mike's brother) and told them. She was totally psyched about it and said I'll do good in the military.

October 13, 2006, Friday:
D-Day:

We got up and got ready and headed down to Keystone to meet Sgt. T. 8:00am. We drove to MEPS and I checked in and we sat and sat and sat . . .MEPS style. I finally got fingerprinted and started processing paperwork. We ate lunch and for the rest of the afternoon we spoke to a recruiter Sgt. S. He was really cool. Funny guy! He kept trying to tell me with my education and more I am selling myself short to be a cook:) I'll probably get this a lot:) So I finally get to sign my contract, paritally, I meet with a 2nd counslor, civillian, to make sure I understand my MOS, the IRR (Inactive Ready Reserve), etc. Then I am rushed into a room where they brief us on 3 UMCJ codes (desertion, falsfying info. and homosexuality). We go into the swear in room and are briefed on what to do. I am so nervous I feel like I am going to pass out. My heart rate has to be 150+. I bend my knees and try to breath calmly. All of hte family (Mike) and the recruiters come in. Lt. Col. S. is talking and I'm afraid I am gonig to pass out before he finishes. I don't hear most of what he says because I am trying to calm myself down. We finally raise our right hands and repeat the Oath. We go back into the briefing room and sign our contract and it is official. My hand is shaky so my signature looks a little bad.

Then Lt. Col. S takes all of our papers one by one and ask "Did you get the job you wanted?" - Yes, sir. - " What is it?" - Food Services, Sir. - "Good Luck". Thank you, sir. Almost everyone before me was infantry and I was afraid I'd slip up and say I was infantry from hearing it so much:) But I didn't.

I went back to the Army office, signed some more papers, Sgt. T (the other recruiter) came and did my temporary ID since my recruiter had a physical he had to do. Sgt. T did my welcome packet, etc. We finally left about 5:20pm (yep, we got there at 9:00am and are just now leaving), but it doesn't matter because I GOT IN!!!! I am officially PFC McMann!!!! YES!!!! YES!!!! I DID IT!!!!!

We went to Fazolis to celebrate and of course Mike told the cashier and she was congratulatiing me! We ate and then headed home. We started telling family tonight. Oh yeah, no one knew we were doing this. For almost two years we have been planning on this and we have not told anyone!!!! So now we have to spread the news. Tongight we told my mom and mother-in-law, as well as my brother. That took until 1:00am so we are saving the rest.

October 10, 2006, Tuesday:
New Recruiter Interviews:

Today Mike and I went and met with a new recruiter, Sgt. T. I refuse to enlist under Sgt. P. It took all evening, but they transferred all of my paperwork to Sgt. T. We were there from 4:00pm to 8:30pm, but everything is set for me to go to MEPS Friday, October 13, 2006. Sgt. T is really great and helpful. He wants me to get what I want and he is honest. A no pressure kind of guy, which makes me feel better. We ate dinner at Carrabba's and split the 3 way chicken. We stopped by Scrubs and Beyond and bought Mike some EMT pants because he has his ambulance ride along tomorrow and then we went home.

October 9, 2006, Monday:
Get my running on:

Today we had to run, we haven't ran for a while because I have been residing at the Hilton and MEPS. However, we ran 1.5 miles (even with me still being really sick). Yay me and Mike!

October 5, 2006, Thursday:
Military Free-Day:

I told Mike that today we do not discuss anything Military, we don't talk about it or to anyone else. I need a free-day.

October 4, 2006, Wednesday:
MEPS (my second home):

So you want to hear about today, huh? Well, I woke up at 4am after only 2.5 hours of sleep. I showered and packed my stuff up. Cheryl and I went downstairs and had breakfast. Oh yeah, in the shower I prayed to God to let everything work out for my enlistment. I am tired of being at MEPS. So I eat two bites of eggs and a piece of bacon and drink OJ and water. Cheryl is still struggling emotionally about leaving her kids so I stay by her to try and help her through. She is shipping today. I really like her. I wish I was going to BCT with her, we are so much alike. We both dread the panty hose and we have a lot in common. Anyway, we board the bus and go to MEPS. There are like 50 some people. I check in with ARMY and sit and sit and sit . . .from 6:15am to about 1:00pm.

Mike showed up around 9:30am and we hung out and low and behold . . .guess who walks in? That's right . . .my recruiter (I use the term loosely) Sgt. P. I have a more colorful vocabulary when referring to him, but I'll spare you the sailor side of my emotions (sometimes Mike probably wonders why I chose the Army over the Navy:) ha,ha). Mind you, my "recruiter" has not come any other time I have suffered through this hellhole, nor has even done anything beyond reaching for a tape measure for Mike to measure me to help me through this process. Anyway, He tells me there are no 92G (food services) MOS's available. But he, almighty OZ, can get me 30K for 14J or 14T. I told him in what I thought was plain English, since I only speak that language, that I want 92G, food services. I didn't care about the money. I wanted the skill of the job. If I decided not to re-enlist then I wanted to know I had civilian skills for the real world. If I did 14J or 14T do you think I can go to Eli Lillies and say I can operate a patriot launching station or I can work as an Air Defense Command, Control, Communications, Computers and Intelligence Tactical Operations Center Operator/Mainter. Is that the longest job title in history or what? I told Mike that if the recruit can remember the whole job title then they should bypass AIT and just be it. The title alone will take one week of AIT to remember:) ha,ha.

Anyway, not even 5 minutes later he comes over and starts trying to get me to go 14J or 14T (the above mentioned MOS's). Again, I say NO! in the only language I know, ENGLISH. He then switches to try and get me to do Hospital Food. Saying you get the added experience of doing special diets. Hello, I told you I wouldn't do anything medical because I loath being around sick people. Then he tries to tell me I'll never be around a sick person working in a hospital. I think he is on the brink of claiming he is the son of God just to get me to enlist with one of these MOS's. Now he is switching to try and get me to be a driver or petroleum specialist. Again, NO is all I say. He is to stupid to get it. So he said he asked Mst. Sgt. H if Mike could go back with me and Sgt. P said she said no. Not even 1 minute later she comes out and calls me back and asks if I want my husband to come back. Yeah, did you catch that Sgt. P lied to me, he never asked because his strategy was to get me the dumb female back there alone and pressure me into one of the above MOS's. He thinks Mike controls me and I am just a stupid marionettes and he (Mike) is my puppet master. Ha, shows how stupid he is. Ask Mike, I wear the same size pants as Mike in our relationship and NO ONE CONTROLS ME!

Unfortunately the bonus amount dropped drastically and we discovered more lies from my recruiter. Oh, and my recruiter came back with the counselor and I was told they were not suppose to be back there because they try to pressure people into things. He kept harrassing me, but I finally quit acknowledging him. Mike and I told Mst. Sgt. H. that we wanted to think about it and discuss it amongst ourselves. We go to the "safe zones" where recruiters are not allowed to talk. I show Mike a trick to get the change machine to take his dollar because it wouldn't. (Wet lightly the president's picture and sometimes reverse the way you put it in the slot). Anyway, we sit down to discuss things and Sgt. P. sits down next to us (in the safe zone) still going on about 14J and 14T and 30K for the MOS's. I know, you probably think I'm crazy for passing up 30K, but it isn't about the money. Plus it isn't really 30K, Sgt. P is lieing again about the bonus money. If you have the loan repayment program it knocks the bonus down drastically. Which Sgt. P said he didn't know I wanted the loan repayment program. Um, he reserved my MOS for me and he selected the LRP and told me to get my promissory notes together before shipping. LIAR!!! I told him "I am not signing today and I'll only do 92G - Final answer!!!" Exactly how I said it. He then says "I don't want to roll the dice and you loose out on something". I said "it's my dice and I'm rolling them. I'll take my chances since it is MY future".

I go back to Mst. Sgt. H., but she is with someone so I go and wait and Sgt. P says he is going to have me speak to his 1st Sgt. I remained in my seat, because he is not having me do anything. When he realizes I am not moving from my chair he asks if I will be willing to talk to 1st Sgt. J. I do and I sit on the phone for 32 minutes exactly with Sgt. J. He didn't convice me of anything, if anything he dug a bigger hole for the Army. This guy is worse than a woman on a phone. He didn't help matters because I hate, loath, deteste being on the phone and he kept me on for 32 minutes. Finally, Mst. Sgt. T (who is in charge) comes and gets me and takes me into his office (Mike comes to). Later, Sgt. P comes in and spews some more lies. Mst. Sgt. T understands and realizes that I WILL NOT enlist today and tells me to go home and think it over.

I keep noticing that people are staring at me today. Recruits are looking wide eyed at me and recruters are being very hush, hush around me. It feels eerie. Mike said because they realize something is going on with me and I am not just caving in to their desires and standing my ground because I have people running around trying to get me enlist. Mike then proceeds to tell me that he wishes he could see my file after my enlistment I asked why, he said because do you know who you were talking to in there? I said military personel, he said yes, but they were Mst. Sgt's. and high up people. I didn't really pay attention to rank I paid attention to my future and I was not settling.

So we leave and Sgt. P pushes us to commit to calling him Monday, which I know I will not do because I am done with him. I will only enlist under a real professional recruiter.

We did meet a nice recruit today. He is do the officer program, ex-marine and ex-navy (now going Army N.G.). He is a volunteer fireman at Wayne Township, a licensed Paramedic at Wishard (I think) and volunteers for the Indianapolis Police Dept. What a human, huh? I felt like a little person next to this person who not only works a hard job, but volunteers as much as he does.

We go to eat at Chili's and talk about the days events. I go home and go to bed as I am still really sick and today did not make things any better. I am sad, angry, disappointed and overall just feeling really blah. I keep switching from tears to silence, to anger to doubt. I feel horrible. Poor Mike, did he really sign up for all this? How does he tolerate my struggles with life? God love him for being the angel he is!!! God knows I do.

October 3, 2006, Tuesday:
HILTON (my third home):

I'll try and sum today up in a few paragraphs. Sgt. P called today and told Mike that my waivers came through for my leg and Tackycardia. Guess again . . .a waiver came through for my leg and Mike. Um, notice an issue? That's right I said Mike received a waiver. The doctor paid such close attention to everything that he provided a non-applicant a waiver to enlist in the US Army:) Makes you feel like your in good hands, huh? Just kidding. I know I am healthy so it didn't bother me, but it delays things because that waiver is useless I need one for my Tackycardia.

Also, Sgt. P is now saying 92G does not have quick ships any longer. Mind you, a couple of weeks ago I specifically asked do they always have quick ships? He said yes. I asked what is the latest time they will ship before Exodus (where recruits come home for 2 weeks over Christmas)? He said up until Exodus (I know this is BS because why would they fly you down there and then turn around and send you home within a day? Now you see my problem with my recruiter, huh? He is trying to get me to change MOS's. He wants me to be a driver or Patriot Missle blah, blah, blah! Mike basically told him to screw himself. He wanted us to drive all the way to C-ville to select one of the above jobs. Mike said NO! Mike is upset at him now.

I went to the doctor because I am still feeling really sick. I have a bad sore throat and he gave me a RX for amoxicilin and a decongestant. Mike dropped me off at home and then went to his Aunt's house to move some things for her. He came back and picked me up to go to Indianapolis, that's right the Hilton for me tonight. I have spent so much time at the Hilton recently that I feel like Paris' evil step-sister:)! I checked in at the Washington Suite and then Mike and I went to Max & Erma's. can you believe they dicontinued their pretzel appetizers? They were the best:) I still don't feel well, but anyway Mike takes me back to the hotel.

I go up to my room and read some mags Mike bought me and watch Oceans 12. My roommate came in. Her name is Cheryl, NG, 91W (medic), BCT Ft. Jackson, SC, AIT Ft. Sam, TX. She has 2 kids and is 33, but totally looks 19. I was blown away and couldn't get over how young she looks. Anyway, she is really cool. We have talked about our fears of basic and shared our limited knowledge. Her mom and kids came to see her off. We have talked a lot about BCT. I fell better about BCT. I called Mike to let him know I was feeling better about joining. iI think it made him feel better.

We were up until about 1:00 am talking. She was telling me cute stories of her little girl and her son. I didn't sleep much between talking and my throat killing me.

October 2, 2006, Monday:
MEPS again for me:

So I am trying to control my weakness, pass out feeling and I go through the detectors, baggage and instructions. I check in with ARMY and go sit in the Main Control Desk area with 3 other inspects (people who don't have to do the full physical). We wait about 45 minutes and go back to medical. I do a urine test and weight/tape test (weight: 162lbs. Neck: 16, Forearm: 9.75, Wrist: 6.25, hips: 42, waist: 30.5 and get this . . .I gained an inch in height 65" (5'5"). I MET WEIGHT! I did it, I lost the weight and inches in my waist and gained enough inches in my neck and forearm to make tape!!! NO SUCKY ARMS TEST FOR ME!!!!

Dr. R checks me for tatoos and I get dressed an am told to sit in the Main Control Desk area and wait to go do an ortho consult for my leg. At 6:50am I sit in the 1st chair in control desk area. At 9:55am Mike comes in and sits by me. I tell him everything about what I have done thus far today, I was so excited about making weight. He asks what I am doing now. I tell him I was told to sit here and wait for my ortho. consult. He asks how long I have been sitting here. I tell him since 6:50am. He asks if I have asked anyone about when my consult is. I told him no, I was told to sit in the chair and I have not left the chair. He tells me to go and check with the control desk about my appt. I finally got Mike to understand that I haven't received anything on my status because I was told to sit in this chair and I have not moved from this chair. By not moving I mean I have not stood, used the restroom or raised my butt off of this chair. He couldn't believe that. I told him I was just doing as I was told. He busted out laughing at me. It's okay, I have a feeling I am going to experience a lot of laughs on my behalf because of stupid things I do. They call back to medical and then tells me to go to medical. Civilian R. gives me my packet and directions and Mike drives me to my ortho consult with Dr. L. on North Meridian St.

Ortho Consult: This Dr. sucked. He cared more about the mechanics of my car accident that broke my leg rather than anything else (like how my recovery was, how I feel currently, what physical activity I do, etc.). Plus he asked if my husband was going to leave me for joining the Army. Nice, huh? A married man joins the Army and everyone supports it, including his spouse, but a married woman joins the Army and my husband must be divorcing me. You will not believe how many times people have asked me this about my husband.

Anyway, this Dr. constantly yelled at his employees and never clarified anything. He was careless in his practice. For instance my left leg is the leg that was broken. He told the X-Ray tech. (I was there) that it was my right leg. My husband even overheard it and corrected him. He didn't like being corrected, but my husband is a loving puppy until pushed, then the rabid dog comes out to play. Mike basically let this Dr. know what he thought of him. I spent a lot of time with the radiologist and tried to cheer him up. I was asking him about the technology they use and what they expect to use in the future and he was like a kid in a candy store talking about it:) I felt so sorry for the employees.

We then rushed back to MEPS and I met with Dr. F. and he signed off on my paperwork. But Army regulations say I have to have a waiver for a rod in my leg. So I am done for the day. No more processing, no enlistment. While waiting for my out processing paperwork Mst. Sgt. T comes back to get me (he is an enlistment counselor). However, since I'm on a waiver I can't meet with him. I get a water and talk with Mike, get my packet and leave.

We went to Fazolis for lunch. The food wasn't as good as I remember it. We stopped by Gma M's. house to pick up a family mirror. She has new glasses that look really, really good. She also has painted her paneling white and it looks really good. We went by my mother-in-laws house to move her china cabinet back and looked at her newly painted walls (very nice color scheme). Looks really good! Then we went home. I slept for about 3 hours (mind you I am sick today). We then went and had dinner, but I couldn't eat much (sick). We came home and Mike played computer games and I laid down. Later Mike fixed me toast and watched Hereos (great show).

October 1, 2006, Sunday:
The Hilton again for me:

Today I am feeling really sick. My throat kills. We hung out for a bit and then we headed down to The Hilton so I could go to MEPS tomorrow. I am still questioning myself. Mike keeps telling me if I am questioning myself then I should reconsider doing this. It isn't that I question whether I'll be good at the "military life" I know I can do that, it is BCT that I am scared to death about. I hate not knowing exactly what will happen.

I check in at the Washington Suite again and Mike and I have dinner at the Hilton and then I swim and Mike leaves afterwards. I have a roommate, Breanna, Army, Intelligence Analyst, BCT at Ft. Leonardwood, MO, AIT at Ft. Hutchuka, AZ. She is 17 and shipping tomorrow.

I showered after my swim and watched Everybody Loves Raymond. I called Mike, he was helping his mom move her china cabinet for the painter. I asked him if I was doing the right thing? He said 100% (that was exactly all the words that were exchanged between us). I hung up and went to bed.

My roommate was a tosser and tossed all night. I don't get it, she woke up all refreshed and wide eyed when she tossed every 5 minutes and yet I stay still, sleeping on one side and I never feel as well rested as she seemed to. Frustrating, it is. I had trouble sleeping because my throat hurt so bad. I laid in bed and stared out the window wondering what the rest of the world was doing. I finally woke up at 3:54 am and showered, dressed, went downstairs, had 3 bites of eggs and half a piece of bacon & OJ. I felt so sick. I felt bloated even though I did not eat much.

I got on the bus and waited. We went to MEPS and while I am in line getting instructions for the metal detectors (by the way this time we were told to make one big line) I fell queasy and feel like I am going to pass out.

September 30, 2006, Saturday:
Downrange:

Today was an eventful day. We went to our nephews football game. They smoked the other team like 48-0. Go WEBO! After the game, we ran home to get my ARMY packet for MEPS tomorrow/Sunday. Sgt. S was nice enough to drop it off at our house since my recruiter, Sgt. P does absolutely nothing to make this process any easier. We then headed out to my brother-in-laws where my husband, Mike, taught me how to shoot. I have never shot a pistol or a rifle before so I was really nervous. Which seemed to make Mike a little bit nervous, but what a trooper he still was willing to risk life and limb to teach me!

Mike first taught me safety and explained downrange/uprange. He said you never point your weapon uprange and NEVER FIRE UPRANGE! I first shot the 22 rifle and then shot a 9mm pistol. I thought I shot myself with the pistol. I stood behind Mike as he shot first and watched him. When he shot the pistol the casings went off to the right. When I fired my first shot the casing hit me in the forhead and I thought I shot myself. I know, go ahead and laugh it up and then read on:) Mike freaked out (not because I thought I shot myself, but because he thought I was going to drop the gun). I wasn't that bad. No matter what I kept the pistol pointed downrange and towards the ground, but turned my head to tell him I hate the pistol.

I LOVE the Rifle though, which is good because that is what I have to qualify on. I just feel unstable with the pistol and it is held away from your body while the rifle is held close to the body (the shoulder). Mike later said I was holding the pistol straight in front of me instead of off to the right a little and that is why the casings kept hitting me. It was a great experience and he said I am a great shot with the rifle. I was able to shoot appropriately with the breathing technique.

We went up to the house and talked with my brother and sister-in-law and then went and had dinner and watched the movie The Guardian (rockin' movie). However, I started freaking out about BCT and felt like I couldn't do it. Mike talked with me for hours about my fears. I was feeling really sick though. I finally calmed down and went to bed.

September 27, 2006, Wednesday:
Training Still:

We did 30/60's again, but more sprinting. Mike says we need to work on these to build different types of muscles in my legs (I think that is what he said:) ). Anyway, these seemed harder than the 12 minute run.

Tonight I taught myself the Soldiers Codes and General Orders

Soldier Code I:
I am an American Soldier - a protector of the greatest nation on earth - sworn to uphold the constituion of the United States.

Soldier Code II:
I will treat others with dignity and respect and expect others to do the same.

Soldier Code III:
I will honor my country, the Army, my unit and my fellow soldiers by living the Army values.

Soldier Code IV:
No matter what situation I am in I will never do anything for pleasure, profit or personal safety which will disgrace my uniform, my unit or my country.

Soldier Code V:
Lastly, I am proud of my country and its flag. I want to look back one day and say I am proud to have served my country as a soldier.

General Orders I:
I will guard everything within the limits of my post and quit my post only when properly relieved.

General Orders II:
I will obey my special orders and perform all of my duties in a military manner.

General Orders III:
I will report violations of my special orders, emergencies and anything not covered in my instructions to the Commander in Relief.

Oh yeah, we had to go to Sgt. P's to drop off more paperwork that he forgot to request from me. Of course he does not make any effort to accomodate us and our having to drive all around Central Indiana for this. He is now trying to get me to change my MOS. See originally I wanted 92M (Mortuary Affairs) and he wouldn't pull the job for me and pushed me towards a list of critical MOS's. I found 92G (Food Services) on the list and since I have been complaining about how I never went to Culinary School (which I should have) I decided to do that. Well, Mike, Jasper and I talked about it and decided on that. Anyway, Sgt. P is working for himself and not me and trying to get me to do what benefits him (they have a new list of criticals and he wants me to do 14J, 14T and other stuff) that he benefits from. I'm not gonna do it, wouldn't be prudent!!! (ha,ha).

September 25, 2006, Monday:

Today we ran for 12 minutes straight. Yea, I did it. I want to know that I can run 2 miles though. My push-ups are weakening. Oh yeah, Friday, while I was visiting my brother at BSU, Mike bought me two books on the military. He is so supportive!!!!

September 15, 2006, Friday:

So today I ran 1 mile in 10 minutes and 10 seconds. Which is great because to ship out now they do a ship test and for a female my age (26) I have to do 3 push-ups, 17 sit-ups and run 1 mile in 10 minutes and 30 seconds or less. Of course my great recruiter Sgt. P said in under 11 minutes so I was happy today thinking I was almost a minute under. I later found out it is 10:30. Now we run 10 minutes straight, no more 30/60's or 4/2's. I am actually running. See you have to work up to the ability to run. I did it in like 3 to 4 weeks. I am also down to 167 lb. I broke the 170 lb. mark on Friday September 22, 2006.

August 23, 2006, Wednesday:
The Training Begins:

I will get into the Army. I will not let my weight, pulse or anything else stand in the way of what I want to do with my life. Today we (Mike and I) did 30/60's. We walk for 60 seconds and run for 30 seconds, 5 times. I did it!!! Yeah, I completed the whole thing. I know this doesn't seem like much and right now your probably thinking why is she even considering the Army? But remember this, I have never properly ran in my life until yesterday, August 22, 2006. Just read on in the future and you'll see anyone can learn to exercise and exercise well.

Anyway, we also do conditioning drills. I have some major pain in my upper stomach. I was still a pain to Mike about doing some of the exercises. I know I should appreciate his help, but right now I see him as the devil (when exercising). He knows what he is saying and doing and wants to help me and prepare me for BCT. He use to be a major Exercise FREAK!!!! He knows his stuff, but I wish I could just wiggle my nose sometimes and make him forget about exercising:)

Today, I was grouchy because I am tired and disappointed that I am not enlisted. I keep blaming myself for these things. I started thinking today that I won't survive BCT (because of my lack of physical running, etc. in my life). I also keep wondering what the shippers are doing right now? I know they are in reception, but I am wondering what is on the agenda for today for them.

I also feel like Mike is disappointed in me. He doesn't say or do anything to make me feel this, it is my own thoughts. He is very supportive and encouraging and saying things don't always go according to plan, but hang in there and everything will work. I love his HOOAH attitude, isn't it so cute? I am so lucky to have him in my life!

Oh, my recruiter, Sgt. P is upsetting me again. Now that I have a pulse survey from my family Dr. basically saying it was anxiety at MEPS that caused it to be elevated he is trying to get me down there before the 2nd, which is great, but I don't want to do the ARMS test and he won't listen to me. I want to go in under weight/tape. I hope Dr. F pulls through and denies his request.

August 22, 2006, Tuesday,
Me and My Thoughts:

Today I am still exhausted. I am being a pain towards Mike about exercising. Today we had to walk 4 minutes and run 2 minutes, 5 times each. I only made it 3 times. I can't control my breathing. We did this later in the day. Today at about 10:30 I went to my famiy Dr, Dr. T, to do a pulse survey for Tachycardia. Everthing was good, Dr. T also showed me how to breath to control my pulse and said try Valarian Root Extract (it helps to calm the body). We played scrabble and hung around the house.

I have mixed feelings about yesterday. Like I said about the signs they can be contorted to work in your favor or against you. I want this so bad. I want to be in the Army, but I feel like the universe is working against me. I have had to loose already 72 lbs. to do the ARMS test and now I have to loose another 12 lbs. On top of that my pulse is wacked out and I have to do the ortho consult. Plus I am not happy with my recruiter. I haven't said much to Mike about it yet because I am trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but he is skeevy (and something isn't right). God please help me get in!!!!

August 21, 2006, Monday:
MEPS DAY:

At 4:35 am. the wake up call came (I was already ready though). Amanda went to get ready and I headed downstairs. I sat and waited in the lobby with about 20 guys (mostly shippers). At 5:00am they opened breakfast for MEPS people and we turned in our room keys. The only thing on the breakfast buffett was scrambled eggs, bacon, pancakes, sugared muffins, doughnuts, OJ & Milk. Oh, I think there was sausage too. I grabbed an orange juice and a muffin (I didn't realize they were sugar coated until I got to my table). I took a few pinches of muffin not to look wasteful and drank my OJ. I sat looking around at all of the recruits wondering what I was doing there? I just didn't feel like I fit. I felt like a poser playing Army. Most were 18, but they were all so fit and young. Strong and determined. I then stuffed my un-eaten muffin in my OJ container and went back out to the lobby. Amanda came down and we talked with another male shipper and male recruit. Male shipper: Army, 3 year, patriot missle, was suppose to ship last year, but had his license suspended for driving w/out insurance-was suppose to be marines, but they wouldn't take him after that, switched to Army, close to 21 yrs. old, BCT: Ft. Sill, OK, AIT: ?, TX. The male recruit: Reserves, while attending college ROTC. We then loaded on the Grey Hound bus and went to MEPS. I sat towards the back and it was nice when all the lights went off, just us and the world around us. I would stare out the window and wonder if the commuters to work had any idea that the men on the bus would be leaving that day to train to defend their freedom? I smiled inside proud to be sitting on this bus with so many heroes. Then I prayed for each one of them that they have the strenght they need to train and the courage and safety for whatever comes after the training. Then I prayed that they would make it alive to MEPS as the driver was CRAZY! Again, I felt like a poser amongst so many strong soldiers. One young man behind me on teh bus was saying he was going active to avoid a stalking ex-girlfriend:)


Anyway, we survived the bus ride and pulled up out front of MEPS. We unloaded and went inside and formed 2 lines in front of Officer B. We go through metal dectors and they X-ray our bags. We go down a long white corridor hall and the ex-mairne helps me out and tells me I have to be on the right side (physicals) shippers on the left. There were only about 10 of us physicals. The shippers walked by 1st into the main area and I couldn't help but admire them and wished the guys good luck!


We go in and stow away our bags, no food or drink allowed! S***! There goes my snicker plan for the ARMS test. I havent' ate for almost 24 hours and I have to do the ARMS!!! CRAP! Physicals then go and check in at the main control desk and get their file and go check in at medical control desk. I then go sit and have my blood pressure and pulse checked. 1st BP: 137/84 P: 135. It all goes downhill from there! 2nd BP: 124/70 (recorded) P:134, 3rd P:135, 4th P:130 (recorded); I then sit in the chair for the eyey exam. One of the last to pass BP (felt like the last kid on the playground to be picked for the team:(). I do vision with Sgt. K. Vision was awful, but still passing. Sgt. K takes me into medical briefing room and tells me to sit there (first chair in front row). Almost everyone is already in there. He sets up powerpoint slide, leaves and does 2 more eye exams. A female officer (Army) comes in and does an orientation on what will happen today. Then the Sgt. comes back in and tosses a pen to everone and tells us NOT TO WRITE ON ANYTHING.


He then tells us to pull out all loose leaf forms from our file. He goes over every single one: HIV test form, Drug/Alcohol Test (Urine & Breathalizer); initial for tests in blocks; previous medical information. They are very strickt about when signing your name in a box, you cannot touch any of the lines of the box. He then does breathalizers for those who have to go take the ASVAB and a couple of others and me. He also checks my pulse again and it goes up to 137. ARGH! He sends me to Dr. F, but Dr. R sees me though and goes over my paperwork more than my pulse issue. He marked my scars on my knee and hip (from my previous femur break), looked at my eyes (follow the light test), checked my ears and throat and had me smile & because I was so nervous I had the goofiest smile. Dr. R just started laughing at me and kept singing Laura Lee. I then went and had blood drawn by Sgt. K (he got it on the 1st try, yeah!), then had my hearing test (was told I hear well and actually the same for both ears), then I had to pee in a cup in front of the civilian female employee, then me and the other female recruit had to undress and weigh (I had to tape).


We sat there and talked while we waited for the Dr. She is 21, N.G., has 2 kids, fiancee (who is N.G.), father ex-marine, brother in Iraq, she is supply, 6 yrs., BCT Ft. Jackson, SC, AIT Ft. Lee, VA. Dr. F came in and asked me if I was going to pass out because my pulse was so high (FYI my pulse should be below 100, I'm currently at 137). I told him no, I feel fine. We did squats, balancing, joint checks, spine checks, large circles with arms, hip benders, duck walk, etc. Checked for flat feet and then a breast exam, tissue (stomach) exam and gynecological exam (exterior only). Then I was instructed to go sit outside Dr. F's office.


He had already told me I was temporarily disqualified. I dressed and went and sat outside his office. One of the other recruits asked me what happens in the Dr's. office, I told him the eye, ear, throat, etc. stuff. Dr. R walked by and asked if I got my pulse down yet? I told him no. Dr. R, civilian female employee and Sgt. K were all trying to help me get my pulse down. Dr. F came back after examing the other girl and took me in his office. Whie sitting out there it took everything not to cry. I keptimagining Mike's face when he came to pick me up and I almost just wanted to walk home instead of calling him. I knew when I called him he would want the details over the phone and I knew I couldn't because I would just cry. So anyway, in Dr. F's office he checked my pulse again after informaing me I was done for the day. In the exam room I was 98 and now 80, but they can't go off that. He told me I can't do the ARMS test because of my high pulse. Because I am temporarily disqualified from the ARMS test I have to loose 12 lbs. to join (again loosing inches in my hips while not in my neck, forearm and wrist). I weighed 173, hips 44.5, neck 15, forearm 9.5, wrist 6. Dr. F told me that he feels I can do all the physical parts of the military, but he is concerned about sending me through the ARMS test with my pulse so high. He explained that he bikes 16 miles several times a week and he himself couldn't pass the males test. He said he believed I should come in under weight/tape, not ARMs. He kept commenting on how flexible and agile I am and how he knows I will be fine in basic. He said when temporary disqualification comes up I can't come back before the date listed. I have to loose 2lbs. a week for 6 weeks to get my 12 lbs. I can come back 20061002 (Oct. 2, 2006) and I have to have a pulse survey from my family Dr. re: Tachycardia. He told me that everything else checks out fine though. I went to medical desk to check out. Officer B went over the info with me. I also (by Dr. R's recommendation) have to have X-Rays and a ortho. consult for my leg when I return.

I went upto Main Control Desk, had to check out with ARMY office, then got my bags and waited with shippers for Mike. When I walked up to Main control desk, ex-marine asked if I got in, I explained about my pulse and he said don't give up. While checking out of Active Army I called Mike. He was excited to hear my voice, but when I told himl I needed him to come get me it dropped so much I wanted to cry. I cannot handle disappointing him. I told him I was temporarily disqualified and he asked why. I asked if I could just tell him when he got here and he wanted at least the basics. I said my pulse was to high and I needed to loose 12 lbs. He wanted more, but I couldn't, I was already chocking back tears. We hung up and thats when I went and waited for him.

8:45am., 3 hrs. 15 min., after my arrival I was offically temp. disq. It was so hard to sit there and not cry. I did not want to face Mike. I thought I would loose it wehn I saw him and the disappointment on his face. 9:25am. he was at the door. I could feel his presence and turned around and saw him. I turned in my tag (ID stickers incl. my 88 for ortho.) at main control desk and left. All I could do was apologize to Mike. He wanted to know all about what the Dr. said so I told him. We drove to Carrabbas to eat. I had bread, filet, asparagus and dry spaghetti. This was suppose to be my celebration dinner. I had mixed emotions. Relief that I didn't have to do the ARMS test, disappointment that I "failed" and worry that maybe I shouldn't be doing this, I mean if a stupid puslse disqualified me today, maybe I'm doing the worng thing . . .is this a sign? The trouble with signs is you can make something a sign in favor or against you. Anyway, I was starving and tired. I had a bite size snickers on the way to carrabbas. On the way home I called Sgt. P and told him. He asked if we could swing by (mind you swing by means 30 min. one way out of our way past our home) for him to look at the papers. This upset me because he should have actually been down there at MEPS like all of the other recruiters I saw. He specifically said he would be there. By the time I called 12:00ish, I could have already been sworn in twice. That really upset me because not only was he not there, but he wanted us to drive all the way to C-ville to take him my papers. Bull****! But we did. We came home and I crashed! I was emotionally, mentally and physically drained. We had dinner at El Jareipo (Chips, salsa, cheese, soft taco, refried beans and rice). We came home and I relaxed more. We later took our dog for drive to get some fresh air. I am really bummed right now . . .

August 20, 2006, Sunday:
The Hotel:
Today is the day I go to the hotel for MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station). Holy ****! I am scared to death. I have to do this though . . .for my country, for myself, for our future, for a lot of reasons. I have been a little bothered because Sgt. P [I have a new recruiter because I am going Active instead of Guards] was trying to get me to do things to loose a few extra pounds before going to MEPS. Anyway, I read this morning, we ate at Denny's after we walked and came home for a few hours to relax. I rechecked my bag and showered. I am so scared, but I WILL DO THIS! I cannot fail, I will not fail, for me or Mike! Well, I am going to check my email and go to the hotel. I'll tell you about it all on Monday. Wish me luck, courage and strength:)


continued . . .


Okay, so Mike and I left, went to Walgreens to get me an indulgence bar for dinner. Then we headed to Indianapolis, the Hilton on Shadeland. Anyway, we get down there and I asked Mike to wait in the lobby because I wanted to check in by myself. [This may sound stupid, but to me it meant a lot because I usually hide behind my husband when it comes to dealing with other people, in uncomfortable situations]. I went up to Room 254 Washington Suite and knocked on the door. A black man answered the door and I sat in a very plush leather chair in front of his desk as he signed me in, then another recruit walked in (Army Reserve) and check in. After he checked in the ex-Navy MEPS employee briefed us on rules and then I went and dropped my bag off in my room and chose my bed (far from door and by the window). I then went down and walked around with Mike. We walked down and sat on a chaise and talked for a few. We then went into the fitness center and dis some upper body exercises, then we were walking upto the front desk and I heard Sgt. B. [my old recruiters voice]. We did a quick turn to avoid him, not because of any reason than awkwardness, he was a good recruiter, but he doesn't work with Active Army. Mike went up to the front desk to get a paper & Pen and we sat by the phones and wrote out the duty stations we wanted in case I needed it tomorrow. Then he hugged me goodbye and I just wanted to cry. This is the first time in 5 years that I am leaving him and staying somewhere else [other than when we got married]. I was already missing him and scared.


I went upto my room and he left. I changed into my swimsuit and went down to swim. I swam for 30 minutes and relaxed for about 5 min. I then went up to my room and did my neck exercises and showered. There was not really hot water, but oh well. I then ironed my shirt because it was wet from my swimsuit and I needed to dry it. I then watched the last of 50 First Dates (Adam Sandler & Drew Barrymore), did 4 push-ups, walked the hotel, and then went into the MEPS Suite and watched Along Came Polly (Jennifer Aniston & Ben Stiller) with 2 re-enlisting recruits. I asked them if they were shipping Monday and both were. The one was an ex-marine (11B-Infantry) re-enlisting Active Army as (13F-Fire Support, E-5 Ran) has a 10 yr. old and a 6 yr. old daughters. He was really cool. The other was a 2 year National Guardsman (11B-Infantry) changing to Active Army with the same MOS.


After some talking and getting more information from them, we had our 9:00pm meeting and then I went to my room. I was told just 2 minutes ago that I was the only girl going to MEPS and while I am changing in the bathroom someone is trying to come into my room. I have to hurry and get dressed to unlock the latch. I apologized for it being locked and explained that I was just told there were no other girls on the floor. She apologized for coming in so late and that she was suppose to be here sooner and they must have assumed she was a no show.


My roommates name was Amanda, MOS-Supplies, BCT (Basic Combat Training) Ft. Jackson, SC, AIT (Advanced Individual Training) Ft. Lee, VA, 21 yrs. old, divorced. [You'll start to notice a pattern here: whenever you encounter someone in the military you get the basics-Name, Rank, Branch, MOS. Anything beyond that is just extra information] . Anyway, Amanda ships tomorrow. We talked about everything military. She was suppose to ship last Friday, but has strep throat. I cannot believe how relaxed she is. I would be more nervous shipping than I am just doing the physical/enlistment. I don't know, maybe she is just tired from being sick.


I tried to fall asleep at 10:30pm. I really never fell asleep, it was more like a nap where your falling asleep, but you are still aware of things around you. The room never really cooled down. I set it on High (the AC) and it felt like 70 the whole time. ARGH!!! At 2:55am I just laid there staring at the clock. The alarm went off at 3:23am, I hit every button possible to stop it. Then it went off again about 3:45am. I decided to get in the shower. The water was warmer this morning. I then got dressed and packed and was ready by 4:10am. [At least I am use to getting showered and ready within 25 minutes:)]. I sat on the floor and did quiet stretches as Amanda was still asleep. I tried meditating and preparing for the day mentally!


To Be Continued . . .

January 5, 2005, Wednesday:
ASVAB Testing Day
Today I woke up around 11:00am. I didn't actually fall asleep last night until around 3:00am and was having trouble sleeping. Major weird dreams. Anyway, I picked up a little around the house and got ready to go take the ASVAB. I was really freaking out (Test anxiety). Mike and I went to go get a bite to eat at Hardee's before the test. I couldn't eat all of it because my stomach was so upset. Anywya, we thenpulled up to the National Guard Armory and there were like 8 cards out there. I started getting really nervous. We sat in front of the armory and ate our food. a jeep pulled up in front of us at the armory and I asked Mike what they were doing. He said "I don't know". They waited for a few minutes and then took off. Mike said "they were going to take the ASVAB:)". I started laughing (which is what Mike was trying to achieve to calm my nerves). Then a man pulls up on the right side of the bridge and steps up on the railing, leans over and Mike is saying "don't do it, it isn't worth it!" We later determined the man is checking the water levels of the streams as it has been raining a lot around here. We talked a little bit about how nervous I was and then he drove me around to the side door.


I went in and asked my recruiter (Sgt. B.) if the test was still on and if I was riding with him. He said yes. So he introduced me to Sgt. J., SPC S. (which I actually already new) and another Sgt. (didn't catch his name). We talked about helicopters and the experience of being in one. Sgt. J. got into the flight program, but his seat was bumped. Anyway, we then go to MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station) down by 56th & Shadeland. It is actully 5541 Herbort Lord Drive, Indianapolis.


I went in and had to go through a security check. I handed him my purse to go through and he asked if I had any knives and I told him no, but I have a finger nail file and he said (nicely, but sternly) "let me ask the questions". [Okay, but I didn't ask a question, I made a statement:) Nice guy, I like him]. So I tood there being asked if I had certain objects in my purse. I had to pull out the fingernail file and I went ahead and pulled out the cuticle cutter just in case. I handed them to him and he gave them to Sgt. B. who took them back to his car. [I never got them back, I hope Sgt. B enjoyed them they were a nice set:)].


I went and stood in line and when I got up to the desk I gave him my paper and drivers license. I had to repeat my SSN and birthdate and then I went around the desk, down the hall, to the black sign and into the ASVAB testing room. There was anotehr officer in there and comluters outlined the wall. I handed him my drivers license and paper, dropped my purse on the floor by his desk and walked over to the terminal I was designated. He put in some code, asked if it was me (SSN) then explained a little bit and went back to his desk. I started the test and was nervous the entire time. It was nothing like whta I prepared for on teh practice ASVAB (math portion). It was way more fractions, but there were very few fractions on the practice test.

Anyway, I completed the test and then walked out to the main area and sat and waited for Sgt. B. I was watching the news on the telly, when the officer at the desk asked of all three of us who was going to the hotel? I said I wasn't so he asked if I needed to call my recruiter [don't know where he disappeared to, I swear these guys sometimes missed their calling and should have been a magician with all their dissappearing acts:)]. I told him yes and he took me up to the desk and told me to dial 9 to get out. So I was calling Sgt. B. when he walked in. He came up to the desk and we got my schore, which was a 68. I about died. I was very disappointed with myself. I really thought I would do much better. [I know if I retested I would, but since I scored a GT of 110 there really isn't a reason to retest because I qualified for any job a female is allowed to do]. Also, to explain a little bit about the ASVAB, it isn't a test like you would take at school. I kept asking everyone did I pass, what is that out of, etc. They won't say because this is what they say "It isn't based on a number out of so many, it is just what you score to place you into certain MOS's (jobs). You need a 30 to enlist and then from there it breaks down what MOS's you qualify for. Then to make it more confusing it breaks down into scores such as GT (General Technical) and more, which to qualify for pretty much any job you need a GT of 110", (which I did achieve). & So anyway, we left and he took me around the area showing me all of the military stuff. He explained what all was in MEPS then he drove me around to show me the PX and the commisary is and the old officers club and where other things use to be.


We then drove home and talked a lot more about the military. I enjoyed it. He dropped me off at home and gave me 2 T-shirts (one for me and one for Mike) that have National Guard all over them. So anyway, I went inside and told Mike all about it. I told him I got a 68 and he said he thought he got a 70 or 71 when he took it. [Later Mike found out he got a 99 and even upon retesting in May 2006 he again scored a 99-brilliant that one is]. So we, Mike and I, went to get something to eat at Bob Evan's and I talked and talked and talked about everything. Almost every single detail. Then we came home, after we stopped at Blockbustr to get some movies, and started watching Shaun of the Dead (hilaious movie). The power went out and Mike called utilities straight away. Aaron came over because he was home alone since mom had surgery in the morning and it was cold with no heat. Mike and I tried to start another fire (in our fireplace), but the logs would not burn. So an hour later as Mike was about to go get some starter logs, the power came on. Aaron, Mike and I finished Shaun of the Dead and then went to bed around 2:00am.